I find it very hard to understand what real depression is and what are the main causes of this debilitating disease might be! Maybe I occasionally feel depressed myself but not to the extent that I feel useless but more disappointed in myself for feeling as though I might have let my family and friends down.
First, I want to confess that I somehow think that even if anyone read this, no one will actually say anything to me. So do I really know that what I write is important, or if anyone cares? I don’t care anymore. It is not just about the audience, it is about the fact that there are so many thoughts in my mind and I need somewhere that I can dump them and process them in a safe space.
The confessions are that I am such a hypocrite. I am jealous. I get envious. And I act as if it is all about how I am suffering. There are so much guilt within me about how I have pushed my friends away, how I have hurt them, and how I say one thing but want something else. The truth is, I want the attention. I want someone to care, but…
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